The E20Chronicles: A NEW Book About EastEnders Book to Benefit Children In Need

The E20 Chroni...

EastEnders Heart's ...

By Deborah Gilbert

Book Preview

A Zissen Pesach, Mr President!

Tonight there will be another first in the White House: The first ever Presidential Seder! While it is not the Obamas' first Seder, it is the first Seder in the White House.

Last night I, myself, survived another annual Seder at the home of Aunt Shirley, the Brisket Whisperer. It's all about The Brisket and, of course, the matzo ball soup with the matzo balls made to the size specifications of Major League Baseball. (Here's a little known factoid: In 1967 the Israeli army defended their southern border by lobbing Aunt Shirley's matzo balls at the advancing Egyptians. They turned and fled across the Suez.) So, to Mr & Mrs Obama: I have some advice as you host your first Seder (trust me. You'll thank me):

Top of the list: Don't talk politics with the mishpawcha (that's French for family tribe). Everyone knows of Albert Einstein's 'Theory of Relativity' (ie; E=MC2). But far fewer are aware of Einstein's 'Theory of Relatives', (ie; They're all nuts, but me). If you choose to ignore this advice, at least wear a blood pressure monitor.


With regard to the Seder itself; It's clear that those old, standard Four Questions need to be updated. I mean, 'why, on this night, do we eat bitter herbs? ' Come on. We all know the answer to that one: It's because our ancestors did not choose to follow a certain carpenter/rabbi as their messiah. If they had, we'd be dipping Marshmallow Peeps into salt water. Duh.

But it's a new era; We the Chosen People voted for Change. So I think we should start by changing those pesky questions, and Talmudic scholar that I am, I am just the person to do it. As it is customary for the youngest person at the Seder to ask the Four Questions, it will fall to Sasha to recite the following:

1. What page are we on?

2. Did anyone bring any real wine?

3. When do we eat already?

4. Is he really going to marry that Shiksa?

(That last one may seem a bit rude but, trust me, everyone at the table is thinking it anyway.)

As for the rest of what's in the Haggadah, do yourself a favor and just skip it: Forget about finding the Afikomen. You've got enough trouble trying to find out what happened to all that bailout money. And Eliyahu has been in a 12 Step program for years, so don't encourage him by leaving him that glass of wine. Just skip all that and go straight to all the great artery clogging food.

Enjoy your Seder! And thank you, for being the Mensch in Chief who finally includes a Passover celebration in the White House calendar. And lastly, Mr. President, a very important request: Now that you've gotten a little taste of Passover, can you do all Jewish kids everywhere a huge favor, and make it a federal law that all Easter candy be Kosher for Passover? That would be some change I can believe in!

Thank you, and A Zissen Pesach!

Goodbye to the Peeler Artist

One of the best things about New York City is it's characters, and one of those was 'The Peeler Man', who passed away on Sunday. You can read his obit in the New York Times, here.

I'm sure I speak for many in the neighborhood when I say I'm going to miss walking through the Union Square Farmer's Market and hearing his familiar British busking. He brought a bit of London's East End to New York. His entertaining sales routine - which never wavered, ('why do you need 5 peelers? Because you have 4 friends!'), but never got stale; and also never failed to elicit smiles. Being set up near him, as a vendor, you couldn't help be amazed at his energy. I've heard him do his spiel hundreds of times, and never once without enthusiasm!

He also never failed to draw a crowd; an audience who stood around him, often three and four deep; totally mesmerized by his creative vegetable peeling act, photographing him like he was an NYC landmark, and who couldn't resist buying one of his $5 peelers. (I know. I bought one myself but have never been able to use it with the same artistry. The potato flowers still elude me.) The peelers themselves were probably worth about 79 cents; it was the entertainment that was gold.

Using nothing but a peeler, some carrots, and his wit, Joe Lauer, The Peeler Man, became a New York City legend. (I'm thinking there's a lesson in there somewhere.)

Peeler Man won't be forgotten anytime soon.

If Cats Had Thumbs...

If cats had thumbs, they would be running things, and we would be using the litter box, (and when I say 'we', I mean 'humans', because I am assuming that your cat is not reading this over your shoulder.)

But sadly for cats, without thumbs, they cannot work the can openers and they cannot work the doorknobs. These two obstacles have severly limited their plans for total world domination, and you can sometimes see how they resent it.

You can see in their little faces how they seethe at their subjugation to the clearly inferior beings, that are humans. Yet, such is their lot. Cat 'owners' often say that they wonder what their cats are thinking. I can tell you: They are quietly judging you.


At left, Oscar Meyer, Feline Superstar: He will not deign to be photographed without turning his best side to the camera. He learned this from Barbra Streisand. He also, after a few drinks, does a mean rendition of 'Second Hand Rose', and will tell anyone who listens that he could have been a big star, but was taller than all the leading men.

Hey! Hey! We're the Sock Monkeys!

Arts organizations are always looking for newer and better ways to create interest and attract the funding they need to survive and thrive. One such New York City organization has found the answer: Sock Monkeys!

Fresh Art is a unique arts organization which uses art and craft to offer hope and healing to, often underserved, segments of the community citywide. Fresh Art offers art & craft workshops free of charge to people with physical and emotional disabilities, HIV and AIDS, long term addiction recovery as well as at-risk youth, seniors and homeless adults and children. They work in cooperation with art therapists and social service agencies to find clients in need of their services.

Exhibitions Director, Suzanne Kreps says, "Our main goal is to help individuals in rebuilding a sense of self-esteem through the pleasure of creativity and the joy of creating." Fresh Art holds regular exhibitions of the work of it's clients. The organization receives grants from foundations as well as donations from individuals.

To suppliment that income, they started making and selling sock monkeys. But, these are not your grandfather's sock monkeys; not like the ones made with the brown socks we all remember from childhood. Really, any kind of socks can be used; all sorts of colors and patterns, novelty socks, even toe-socks (which create a monkey with a mohawk). Fresh Art volunteers convene every other Monday night, in their donated office space on lower Broadway, to hold a sort-of sock monkey sewing bee. There is a core group of eight dedicated senior monkey makers while other monkey makers migrate in and out. Each has their own reason for participating, though all find it rewarding. Right after 9/11, Ann Marie Harris was looking to volunteer for something, and found her calling with the sock monkeys. She has been volunteering ever since.


The monkeys produced at the sewing bees, as well as sock monkey note cards, are offered for sale at events as well as in Fresh Art's on-line gift shop.


In addition to making monkeys for sale, monkey making is one of the workshops they offer to clients. At a recent workshop held in Harlem, at a residence for formerly homeless men fighting addictions, Molly Kearns, senior monkey maker marveled, "it was sweet to see how tender some of these big, burly men were sewing their monkeys, and some were naturally talented sewers." Each client leaves the monkey making workshop with a sense of accomplishment, as well as a new little friend. Whether created by volunteeers or clients, as the monkeys take shape, each develops an undeniable personality. At another workshop, a resident said of her monkey, "He's going to watch TV with me now."


Many of the clients served by Fresh Art are isolated by their circumstances, and the workshops offer them a chance to be a part of a community again. When offered the opportunity of a creative outlet everything falls away; pain, and hunger are diminished. Often, an introduction to the arts creates a positive addiction to replace a negative one.

For more information on how you can donate your time, money, materials, or a monkey, visit their website:www.freshartnyc.org

Oh, Happy Day!

We the People: We're back, Baby!


I created this image, back in 2002, as a kind of protest; As a way of taking the flag back from those who would steal it, and distort its' meaning for their own, small, warped and exclusionary political agenda.

Today is validation that the flag, and everything it represents, belongs to ALL of us again. (It always did! We just had to rise up.)

Recipe For a Long, Happy Life...

One of my favorite photographers is the highly original, and often imitated Ruth Bernhard, who had these words of wisdom on how to live a long, happy life:

1. Never get used to anything
2. Hold onto the child in you
3. Keep your curiosity alive
4. Trust your intuition
5. Delight in simple thing
6. Say 'Yes' to life with passion
7. Fall madly in love with the world
8. Remember: Today is the day!

-Ruth Bernhard
(who lived to be 101, so she should know!)