Halloween: A Socialist Redistribution of Candy

You know what happened to me on Friday? Some snotty, little monsters came to my door begging for candy!

Can't their lazy parents buy them candy? I have worked hard and earned enough to buy all the candy I want, and I can eat it whenever I want too, too (because I am a grown-up!) So should I be forced, by these little marxists, to give away my candy to them?; the candy that I have worked so hard for, while they have not?!? NO, I say!

So, I just yelled at them, 'Halloween is just a socialist redistribution of chocolate!', and slammed the door in their little faces.

I spent Saturday scrubbing obscenities off my front door.

The little f*ckers can't spell either. I blame those damn, unionized public school teachers.


[I'm John McCain, and only I would approve such a ridiculous message.]